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priscaTitle: That's the way love goes
Character: Casey Connor, Mrs. Connor
Challenge: Love is in the air
Word Count: 1106
Finished: 01.02.2020
:::
„Casey?!“ Mrs. Connor stopped in every movent, staring at her son who was coming down the stairs. „You are back!“
Slowly he put the heavy backpack down, shaking his head. „No, mom, I'm not. I'm just here to grab some of my stuff.“
„But... I don't get all this. How could this happen?“ She looked so unhappy, and Casey felt a tiny bit guilty for being so selfish. „I'm sorry,“ he murmured. „But you know there is no other way.“
She licked her dry lips, tears sparkling in her eyes. „But your future... what's with Delilah? Law school. One day you will take over your dad's office. How can you give up all this because... because of a fantasy?“
Sighing, Casey pulled his face. „It's not a fantasy, mom, that's me. I am gay! And I won't hide any longer who I am. Finally, I am not afraid anymore to be myself. And it feels good."
„How can you say that, after all, we did all for you,“ she protested weakly; tears finally started to flow.
„You did what? Love me, like I am? Encourage me to go my way? No, you don't.
Already as a child, I could feel it, that whatever I do will never be enough for dad. He never told me that he's proud of me; all I remember is the disdainful look in his eyes when I failed at baseball or football again. But I loved him anyway; I would have done all to be the son he wanted.
Until I turned fourteen, and I did find out that I don't feel like I am supposed to feel. I couldn't hide it for long. And you remember what happened next?“
„It was for your best.“
„For my best?“ Casey couldn't hide his anger any longer. „You think it was for my best that dad sent me to this training camp? Did you ever think about it what they did to me? How they tried to break my will? How they drilled me all night long until I didn't know anymore how to survive the next day?
When I finally came back home, I was not more than a puppet in dad's hands. I did what he expected me to do, but inside I felt dead.“
Mrs. Connor stared at her son, horrified; finally, she buried her face into her hands. „Oh God, oh God, I didn't know that it was so bad for you.“
And Casey swallowed his anger down. Yes, probably she was only another victim of the circumstances, so used to it to follow his dad's order that she couldn't think clearly on her own anymore. It was not easy to take up the battle against someone that overpowering. How could he blame her?
It had taken years until he had been ready to admit that he couldn't endure his fake life any longer. Using Delilah, his fiancee, a young woman who loved him, was the worst; she deserved someone better than him, a guy who could share her dreams with his heart, not only with words that would never come true.
Soon enough, he would start to work as a lawyer. He knew the theory, oh yes, was one of the best at law school; everything else was out of the question. But this alone didn't make a good lawyer. He was not burning for law like he had done ages ago for photography. It would always be an unloved job, and the thought that one day someone innocent would get sentenced to months or years in prison only because he had failed to do his best was more than disturbing.
For so long he hadn't been able to see a way out, much too broken to stand up and fight for what he wanted. He had even thought about suicide, but luckily he realized quickly that this couldn't be a good solution.
Casey shook his dark thoughts off; never again he would go back to this point. He stepped forward, putting a hand on his mom's arm. „It's okay.“ he murmured. „Who knows, without all this, I would probably not who I am today. It still a long way, but I know, I will overcome all difficulties.“
Like in slow motion, she looked at him. „What... what are your plans? Do you... do you need money? I have some savings, your dad doesn't know about.“
Almost he would have laughed; what a surprise, even she had her little secrets, to make her life more bearable. „No, thank you, keep it for yourself; maybe you can need it one day.
I have all I need.“ He hesitated only shortly. „Someone who loves me, without ifs and buts. He asked me to move in with him.“
„Oh!“ She paled visibly when the realization hit her. „This is... Do you think this is a good idea? You should be careful. Better don't trust someone like him so easily.“
"Someone like him?" Casey smirked slightly. „His name is Zeke. And no need to worry, mom, only because he is gay, he is not a monster. He would never hurt me; never force me to anything. He gives me the freedom to find out what I want.
I guess that's the way love goes.“
She eyed him for a long while. „I don't know," she finally said, "but I hope you will get happy, really, I do.“
„I already am.“ He smiled. „The world is finally open for me, and I can't wait to explore it. We plan to leave Ohio behind soon; move to San Francisco, where I can go to art school. Or maybe I will work as a freelance photographer for a while. We will see." He bent forward to place a fleetingly kiss on her cheek. "Time to go, mom."
"Yes. Yes, I understand. But, maybe you could wait until your dad comes home?"
Casey's face darkened, then he shook his head. "Do you remember his words? 'If you leave this house now, I will not have a son any longer.' I don't think that he has changed his mind. It would only end with another fight. I'm sorry, mom."
When Casey bent down to grab his backpack again, she grabbed for his arm, tears running down her face. Before he could shake her off, she whispered: "Can you at least call me, now and then? Just to let me know how you are doing."
„Sure, why not,“ he said before leaving the house for the last time without looking back.
Character: Casey Connor, Mrs. Connor
Challenge: Love is in the air
Word Count: 1106
Finished: 01.02.2020
:::
„Casey?!“ Mrs. Connor stopped in every movent, staring at her son who was coming down the stairs. „You are back!“
Slowly he put the heavy backpack down, shaking his head. „No, mom, I'm not. I'm just here to grab some of my stuff.“
„But... I don't get all this. How could this happen?“ She looked so unhappy, and Casey felt a tiny bit guilty for being so selfish. „I'm sorry,“ he murmured. „But you know there is no other way.“
She licked her dry lips, tears sparkling in her eyes. „But your future... what's with Delilah? Law school. One day you will take over your dad's office. How can you give up all this because... because of a fantasy?“
Sighing, Casey pulled his face. „It's not a fantasy, mom, that's me. I am gay! And I won't hide any longer who I am. Finally, I am not afraid anymore to be myself. And it feels good."
„How can you say that, after all, we did all for you,“ she protested weakly; tears finally started to flow.
„You did what? Love me, like I am? Encourage me to go my way? No, you don't.
Already as a child, I could feel it, that whatever I do will never be enough for dad. He never told me that he's proud of me; all I remember is the disdainful look in his eyes when I failed at baseball or football again. But I loved him anyway; I would have done all to be the son he wanted.
Until I turned fourteen, and I did find out that I don't feel like I am supposed to feel. I couldn't hide it for long. And you remember what happened next?“
„It was for your best.“
„For my best?“ Casey couldn't hide his anger any longer. „You think it was for my best that dad sent me to this training camp? Did you ever think about it what they did to me? How they tried to break my will? How they drilled me all night long until I didn't know anymore how to survive the next day?
When I finally came back home, I was not more than a puppet in dad's hands. I did what he expected me to do, but inside I felt dead.“
Mrs. Connor stared at her son, horrified; finally, she buried her face into her hands. „Oh God, oh God, I didn't know that it was so bad for you.“
And Casey swallowed his anger down. Yes, probably she was only another victim of the circumstances, so used to it to follow his dad's order that she couldn't think clearly on her own anymore. It was not easy to take up the battle against someone that overpowering. How could he blame her?
It had taken years until he had been ready to admit that he couldn't endure his fake life any longer. Using Delilah, his fiancee, a young woman who loved him, was the worst; she deserved someone better than him, a guy who could share her dreams with his heart, not only with words that would never come true.
Soon enough, he would start to work as a lawyer. He knew the theory, oh yes, was one of the best at law school; everything else was out of the question. But this alone didn't make a good lawyer. He was not burning for law like he had done ages ago for photography. It would always be an unloved job, and the thought that one day someone innocent would get sentenced to months or years in prison only because he had failed to do his best was more than disturbing.
For so long he hadn't been able to see a way out, much too broken to stand up and fight for what he wanted. He had even thought about suicide, but luckily he realized quickly that this couldn't be a good solution.
Casey shook his dark thoughts off; never again he would go back to this point. He stepped forward, putting a hand on his mom's arm. „It's okay.“ he murmured. „Who knows, without all this, I would probably not who I am today. It still a long way, but I know, I will overcome all difficulties.“
Like in slow motion, she looked at him. „What... what are your plans? Do you... do you need money? I have some savings, your dad doesn't know about.“
Almost he would have laughed; what a surprise, even she had her little secrets, to make her life more bearable. „No, thank you, keep it for yourself; maybe you can need it one day.
I have all I need.“ He hesitated only shortly. „Someone who loves me, without ifs and buts. He asked me to move in with him.“
„Oh!“ She paled visibly when the realization hit her. „This is... Do you think this is a good idea? You should be careful. Better don't trust someone like him so easily.“
"Someone like him?" Casey smirked slightly. „His name is Zeke. And no need to worry, mom, only because he is gay, he is not a monster. He would never hurt me; never force me to anything. He gives me the freedom to find out what I want.
I guess that's the way love goes.“
She eyed him for a long while. „I don't know," she finally said, "but I hope you will get happy, really, I do.“
„I already am.“ He smiled. „The world is finally open for me, and I can't wait to explore it. We plan to leave Ohio behind soon; move to San Francisco, where I can go to art school. Or maybe I will work as a freelance photographer for a while. We will see." He bent forward to place a fleetingly kiss on her cheek. "Time to go, mom."
"Yes. Yes, I understand. But, maybe you could wait until your dad comes home?"
Casey's face darkened, then he shook his head. "Do you remember his words? 'If you leave this house now, I will not have a son any longer.' I don't think that he has changed his mind. It would only end with another fight. I'm sorry, mom."
When Casey bent down to grab his backpack again, she grabbed for his arm, tears running down her face. Before he could shake her off, she whispered: "Can you at least call me, now and then? Just to let me know how you are doing."
„Sure, why not,“ he said before leaving the house for the last time without looking back.